I thought I'd start a small little series called Tuesday Tea Time. Very original name, I know. But I thought it sounded super cute so I went for it. The point of the series is to get down to the nitty gritty. To talk about things that we maybe don't want to talk about or are scared to ask. I want this to be a conversation. I hope that after reading you walk away a little more curious about the world around you, what you believe, and learn more about yourself. 


Why do you believe in God?

There was a time when I was a new believer when I asked myself this question almost daily. Isn't it easier to just not believe? Isn't it easier to just go on with my life and not worry about having to please this unseen person somewhere up in the sky? Yes, to all. I struggled with it daily and I couldn't find the right answer the calmed this sense of confusion. Until I opened up to one of my friends about it. I asked him one night after church how he can believe in God and how he always has. He simply told me that there's too much beauty in the world not to. And he's so right. The world is the crazy, beautiful, wonderful place. Even as I type this, I realize that to some it may feel like I've sugar coated life with those pretty words. So here's the truth - life is messy, life is full of hardships and sometimes so much pain. So, again you ask, how can I still believe in a God that allows pain to come into our lives? For me, it's simple God isn't the one bringing me pain, He brings me the hope I need to make it through the pain. 

God gives us free will. The choices that people make are their own. Every human being makes their own choices. Some choices good, some bad. Some are based off of their own selfish wants or needs, or out of the selfless love in their hearts. The chain of events that then follow was an act of free will. God doesn't give out karma. God doesn't want revenge on people who have wronged him. God is faithful, God gives hope, God is every good and perfect thing in this world. 

I believe in God even though I don't see Him, but purely because I can always feel Him. I feel Him in the laughter of a child, I feel Him in the cool summer air, I feel Him when I'm hurting, I feel Him when I'm lonely. Just because I don't physically have Him with me doesn't mean that I can't believe in something so much bigger than myself. Your life begins to have purpose and meaning and joy and life and love when you begin to believe - when you begin to trust in your Creator. 

So here's the answer to your question: I believe in God because He brings me hope, joy and peace when I feel like I'll never have it. He is the peace that passes understanding. He is the reason I wake up each morning feeling like I have purpose and meaning. 


And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Phillippians 4:7


If you have questions about your faith in God, I encourage you to listen to the song I've linked below. It's helped me tremendously in my walk with God. Also, feel free to email me or comment below with comments, questions or anything else on your mind. 

A Letter to the Creator of the Universe

To the Creator of the Universe,

Such a big title everyone gives you, huh? I've always wondered if you like that title. Creator of the Universe. Seems like a big load to carry. Knowing that you created every single star in the sky and know every person in the world by name. I know I couldn't do it. I mean, I'm only human. But you're God. You're the air we breathe. You're the sound of my heart beating in my chest. You're the reason for everything good and perfect and pure in this world. You're the Creator of everything. Even little ol' me. So I think the title suits You well. 

You love me, for me. You don't care about what size jeans I wear, or what I ate for breakfast yesterday, or whether I'm going to college or not. You care about me. You care about my heart and my soul. You care about my wants and needs. You hear my prayers. You created me before I was even born. You knew me before there was time. That's always been the biggest challenge for me the more and more I learn about who You are - being able to wrap my head around such a big concept. That you know everything about me, and that there was time before the Universe. I can't fathom that thought. I suppose it's far ahead of what my mind can comprehend. But I still love knowing it. 

Yet sometimes I forget about You. Life gets busy and I get lazy. I forget to thank You that I'm alive and healthy. I forget to thank You that my car is parked safely in the mall parking lot and not somewhere in a ditch. I forget to thank You that I'm not spending my days in a hospital bed. Sometimes I forget to thank You that I'm unbelievably blessed. And for that I'm ashamed. I know, that's not something You want us to feel - it's something the devil puts in our heads. So maybe, I feel more like a hypocrite. I call you my Creator, yet I forget to thank you for simple things? How does that make me the strong Christian that I say I am? Why do I find myself judging someone who I'm not fond of? Why don't I pray more for the people around me instead of only saying that I will? 

And that's something I know I have to work on, something that you've called me to work on. I'm on this Earth to build up others, to love on others, to show them who You are and what you've done for every single person on the planet. 

I'm getting there. Each and every day I hear You more, I listen more, I study more. I'm realizing your presence more and more. 

And for that I thank you.

God Is A Good God

God is crazy. He is wonderful and beautiful and all consuming. He also provides for us when we need it most. I had a bit of a..setback two weeks ago. I know what you're thinking Why have you waited so long to blog about it? Well, I couldn't tell you. I guess I've just pushed it into the back of my mind, but I finally decided to blog about it. Yippee. I guess.

Another woman and myself were at church when our cars were vandalized. The passenger side of my windshield was shattered, a hole left behind. At first I was stunned, how did this happen? Did I not see it earlier today? No, it was too big. It had to have happened during church. Could the footballs that the boys were throwing have created this big of a shatter? No.

Thankfully, I had one of my closest friends with me when I had found it so my freaking out and crying and screaming wasn't too much of a shock to her. She calmed me down and told me we'd head over to the coffee shop where we were meeting our small group girls and come back later to see what had happened - talking with our girls was where we needed to be.

So we went over there, Char sitting in my passengers seat (I later found out that glass had shattered into the inside of my car! She totally could've gotten a butt full of glass shards! Yikes!) and me still freaking out about what my insurance was and that I had a long shift at work the next morning and that I had to have it fixed ASAP. I was definitely thankful for my White Lightening Frappachino that night.

It wasn't until I came back to the church I found out what had happened. It had happened to another woman and they were outside picking up the pieces of the broken glass on the ground. My car was parked right next to hers earlier in the night.

It was definitely a shock. A flood of emotions hit me - I was scared, angry, distraught, and confused. Why on earth would somebody do this? Especially being at a church. But in all actuality, it doesn't matter where or when something bad can happen at any moment. Isn't that a risk we take every day when we leave the house? I don't know about you but I won't live that way. I'm not going to be scared to do something I love just because I'm scared of what could happen. This totally and completely could have happened at the grocery store, but it just so happened to occur at my church.

I don't blame anyone. I don't feel the need to be angry at them or be bitter. I'm more saddened. To create a shatter that big in a windshield (for goodness sake's!) they must have a lot of anger. I hope and pray that whatever had happened to them that night that they get it resolved. Carrying that burden can't be fun.

So I don't really know why I'm sharing this story. I suppose my main point is that within the next two days my car was fixed and the windshield was better than ever - without me having to spend a dime. And that, my friends, is the grace and power of God. There's no way that would have happened without Him. And I realize now that He was teaching me something I hadn't known before: Grace. I hadn't known who had done it and although I still would like to know, I'm not mad at them. I'm at peace with it all - with their actions, with my actions and the marvelous people that I had standing beside me that night.


A huge thank you to the guys at Action Glass for being so incredible to me and taking such amazing care of my car and the new windshield I got! Seriously if you need any kind of glass repair on your car call them! Very fast, reliable and got me in ASAP. I'll definitely be going back for any repairs I'll need in the future!

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3 Reasons Why I Wear A Purity Ring

I know this has been a touchy subject over the years, many people don't believe in it, while others are all for it. I, for one, am all for it. I love mine. It reminds me of the promise I've made to God, myself and my future husband. 

My parents never told me I needed to have one. I didn't receive mine on my xth birthday, or Christmas. I pursued the search to see what they were all about and what it meant. I loved the meaning behind wearing the ring and the promise it held. I had wanted one for quite a long time, so I finally bought my first one my Senior Year of High School. I love wearing it. I remember one night at my youth group we had a combined small group with freshman girls. As we were talking with them about some of the things they were going through, the five of us who were there all had purity rings showing our promise to God. So I've come up with a couple reasons why I've decided to wear my ring. 

1. It's a constant reminder. Although I'm not currently in a relationship (hint, hint ;) It does remind me of the beautiful future I have with the person I'm waiting for. It also is a reminder that I need to remain pure with my words, my thoughts, and my actions. 

2. It helps me share my testimony. I remember one of the first couple weeks that I had had the ring a girl asked me what it said. Her eyes had widened and asked what that meant. Which then gave me the opportunity to share with her my testimony and why I was choosing to wear my ring. 

3. It reminds me that my heart belongs to God. The person who holds my heart is also the person who will place the right man in my life that I will marry. Simple as that. I'm waiting patiently on God for that right person who will chase after my heart as well as His. 

Late Night Thoughts: Why Life After High School Isn't All Sunflowers & Daisies

(Photo: weheartit.com)

I've been out of High School for almost four months now.

They tell you that you're going to have so much freedom to do whatever you want. You can do and be whatever. But what they don't tell you is the confusion you feel, the loss of friends that occur, the feeling of inadequacy to do anything, the frequent mental breakdowns, and the constant reminder that you're almost a full-on adult.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of pros too. Sleeping in until noon, not having homework, not dealing with the pressures High School brings - all of that is great, but I just feel different. In a sense, I feel a bit lazy. Here I am, day in day out not doing much of anything. Well, except work. That's all I do anymore. Not quite, but it sure feels that way. All I can say is I'm definitely not cut out for 40 hour weeks, mentally and physically. 30 hour ones bring enough pain and mental breakdowns.

Not being in High School is one heck of a change, and taking a semester off of school is an even bigger one. I'm working like crazy, I'm volunteering, I'm trying to juggle so many things at once. There was a day that I didn't see my little sister for an entire day, and another where I didn't see my mom for almost two. Never before has that happened.

Last Sunday night after church, my drive home brought on a flood of emotions that I didn't expect. I was just tired. Tired of working. Tired of driving all the time. Tired of not seeing my family. I came home and my parents were sitting around a fire, so I joined them for the first time in months. And I just started sobbing. It was a heavy, shoulders-move-up-and-down kind of sob. Something I hadn't done in a long time. I just poured out all my problems to them, everything that I had been feeling over the past couple weeks. The pain that was constantly in my heel from working so much (I'm as flat footed as they come), the mental exhaustion, the feeling of having absolutely no one in my life anymore. They told me to cut down my hours, take a week of to refresh and regroup. To find myself again. And I'm crazy excited to have those six days off.

Now, I don't want to sound crazy negative because that's just not me - or at least I try not to be very often. It's pretty cool that I'm not in school anymore and I accomplished something major. There's just so much more to graduating than that.

There's this Bible verse that I used quite often throughout my graduation party, it's Proverbs 16:3, “Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Right now, I feel like there's just so many "What If" scenarios playing out in my head. My biggest one being What if it's hard to find a job for the career I want? Then what? I just spent thousands of dollars to do something I can't even do.

So I'm learning to trust. To trust that everything is going to be okay, that even if I don't feel like I'm doing much of anything right now, it's going to add up to something.

Psalm 20:4  “May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.”

Kids Need Youth Group

I love youth groups. And I firmly believe that leaders, pastors and everyone having anything to do with youth groups have a huge impact on kids and the way they live. So I continue to go. Even though I'm not in High School anymore I went to my church's high school youth group. There's always more to learn and enjoy there. So I stick around and take pictures for the heck of it. But let me tell you, the lighting in the youth building is horrible for my poor camera. Yes, I have a good camera, but it's just too dark for it. So no surprise that the best pictures were the ones I took outside. But hey, what can ya do?

I really, truly believe that kids need youth group. It's a place for them to feel safe, and free of any kind of judgement. I have met some of the greatest people at my youth group, heck I'm still going. It was a place for me to get away from the messiness of my own life and to just be with amazing people who all were there for the same reason: to glorify God. I've had amazing youth leaders who have shaped me into being the best person I can be. They've loved on me, supported me with everything, and have given me a shoulder to cry on when I needed it. God definitely brings you to places and to people exactly when you need to be led. And I'm incredibly thankful for that. I was in a bad place before starting youth group. I didn't know one Bible verse. I only wanted to go to church on certain holidays. I didn't truly know who God was. I had no purpose. And now, I know at least a couple Bible verses(I'm getting there!), attend church on a weekly basis, I know God and I'm chasing after His heart. I have a purpose. Sure, I don't know what it is yet, but I'm enjoying the time I have to figure that out.

Going to youth group changed my life. I've talked to so many people whose life changed the same way. Kids need youth group. Period.

A Week At Camp

(One of the couple of pictures I have from this week. Plus I love these girls like no other.)

This week I had the privilege and honor of being able to join the SpringHill Day Camps staff for one week. Earlier last Fall I applied to be a full counselor for the summer, but unfortunately because of my age I wasn't hired for the summer(at least that's what I'm blaming it on). But boy, do I wish I could have spent the whole summer with these wonderful people.

It started last Friday (August 25) when I got a call from one of the SpringHill Day Camps directors. She said that she had noticed I was signed up to be a CIT (Counselor In Training) and that I had previously gone through an interview and asked if I wanted to be a counselor just for the week. At the time I had gotten the call, I was leaving the mall, and in that moment I almost collapsed onto the pavement. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Me? A counselor? The job that I had prayed and prayed for. The job that I so desperately wanted. The job that when I found out they weren't putting me on staff cried about for weeks. This was the job I had wanted for over a year and there was no way I would be turning down an offer like that. Within 10 minutes I called the director back, and I began crying on the phone, never in my life had I been so happy. I was going to be a counselor for SpringHill Camp.

So Sunday afternoon was the day that I would meet the team that I would be on for the next week and to help them set up for this week. At first I wasn't nervous, I was ready, I was excited and I wanted to be there more than anything. But as soon as I walked in those doors of the church I knew and loved so much, I realized how weird it was to be there. These people had known each other for eight weeks, and here I was barging in on their team, joining only for a week and then leaving after that. It didn't feel right. I felt like I didn't belong there. Everyone had already known each other and were hugging and talking and loving on each other and there I was not knowing anyone and just sitting off to the side not wanting to interrupt what they had going on. So I watched them, I listened to their conversations. I became a wallflower for a couple of hours. The directors introduced me to the other people on the team. They still stayed in their groups. But I was alright with it, I understood. During this time I also met another girl who was joining for the week only. But then I heard it: her sister is on the team. Oh, great. Once again, I'm alone in this. My attitude continued the rest of the night, just keeping my head low, helping with what I could, and learning the basics of what I'd be doing for the week. It was a lot to take in. But even through all of this, I was excited. I was excited to see God work in the lives of these kids I would have, and for God to work in me.

Bright and early Monday morning we were called to the church: 7:15. I hadn't woken up before 9 almost all summer. So setting my alarm for 6:15 was brutal. I came ready to work, ready for the day, but also completely exhausted and confused with what I was supposed to be doing. Everyone knew what to do, where to go. I was lost. So I followed some people, answered questions when asked, and just tried to do my job well. Thankfully, I had a co-counselor who knew what she was doing. I let her take over checking the kids in, attendance, and everything else that she had been doing for weeks. I stuck to the side and helped when she needed me to. It was a lot to take in so fast and I was completely overwhelmed. Kids screaming, sweat dripping down my forehead, and trying to remember 20 camp songs to keep them entertained. The whole day was a blur, full of kids asking questions, all new activities, and an endless amount of new information.

The next two days were emotionally and physically exhausting. I never knew that my legs could shake from being so sore. I didn't know that there were muscles that you could pull in your stomach while sliding down a water slide. I didn't know that it was possible to have to take 17 kids to the bathroom all at once and keep track of them while another group is also at the bathroom. I didn't know that if you give a kid a fuzzy hat and tell them that they can talk only if they're wearing the hat would be so helpful. I have never told a kid to get in line so many times in my life. There was so much learning involved in what I was doing. I was learning that these kids really know about the Bible and about God's word. I was learning that each child learns differently. I learned that just because a child is quiet doesn't mean that they aren't listening, they're actually listening the most.

The next two days after those were better. My legs stopped shaking. The muscles in my stomach hurt a lot less. Taking 17 kids to the bathroom didn't seem like such a challenge anymore. The fuzzy hat trick still worked while in small group. Getting in line while still a difficulty but didn't take as long. I grew closer to the people I was working with. I began to know each of their name's, I began to find where I belonged in the group. I was making friends and they were accepting me into their group. Thursday night we had a meeting with just the girls. I didn't participate in much of their conversation since a lot of it didn't have to do with me. But just before we ended the meeting, I spoke. I wanted to describe into words what this opportunity meant to me. I wanted to describe what each and every one of those girls meant to me. But I couldn't find the words to tell them all that. And as I began to speak, I couldn't stop the tears from falling. Hard. All these emotions had taken over and all I thought about was having to leave these absolutely wonderful people that I had grown to love. Tomorrow was going to be my last day whether I liked it or not, so making the best of it was one of my only options.

The last day was bittersweet. I had never been so completely physically exhausted in my life and never before had I wanted a day to not end. I had loved the kids I as given, the co-counselor I was blessed to have, but in the back of my mind I knew that my time was up at this wonderful place. These counselors were off to a different city to bring Heaven to Earth there. This was their summer to do that. I knew that I would have my chance eventually, but this wasn't what God had wanted for me for the summer. I was there to bless that amazing group for the week and then to allow them to continue what they are trained to do.

It was an absolute blessing in disguise to be apart of this group. I loved every single minute of it, and I hope that I will be working alongside them next summer. They all have such a wonderful heart for kids and what they're doing. Each of them has their own story to share and I loved being able to hear a little bit of them.