I'm a writer. That's just who I am and who I've always been. It's something I've done when I'm sad, happy, mad, upset, and at some of the happiest times of my life. I am a writer.

It helps me to let go of things that I can't handle or things that make me upset. So I begin to type and let my fingers do the rest. I've been blessed with this gift that I intend on sharing. I love to do it. It's my passion. Even if I haven't studied it in school and I don't currently have a degree, I can still say it - I'm a writer.

When my grandpa died, I remember scribbling song lyrics in my yellow notebook every day after school. I would write these lyrics that meant so much to me, but looking back on them they really were so awful. And that was the spark that led to the fire I had inside me for writing. I never stopped. It was my therapy. I would lose a close friend - then I'd write. I would get a bad grade in a class - I'd write. I would experience one of the happiest day of my life - I'd write until my fingers bled. It was something that was always there for me when I felt alone.

For a while in High School I had stopped. It wasn't the cool thing to do. Admitting that you love to write made you weird or friendless. So I stopped. Those were a lonely couple of years. I missed my imagination. I missed the way a pen felt in my hand when I scribbled words across a piece of paper. I missed lying awake until 3am writing about these characters I had created in my head. Until I had found a piece of the puzzle that I had been missing for so long: God.

The Bible says that each of us has a God given gift. Something that God has blessed us with to share with other people and to give Him the glory for. That was my missing puzzle piece. The piece that I needed to ignite that spark I had for writing so many years ago.

I didn't care anymore. I wanted to do what I loved. I wasn't going to stop writing just to please anyone but my creator.

Why am I writing this, you ask? Well, mostly because it's been a rough couple of days and I've realized that I had quite a bit of built up frustration stirring inside of me. And this helped. It may not have fixed the situation that I'm in, it still helped me figure a few things out.

Life is funny that way, huh? We sure do serve an awesome God.

Christmas Lights + Snowmen Mugs

Hey all! So as you may have read in my Thanksgiving post, I carved out some time to snap a few photos of my outfit this holiday season! I'm a big believer in layering! If you've never done it before, do it. It helps keep you warm and cozy. Don't worry about looking heavier, if I can wear it so can you.

Necklace: Charming Charlie
Watch: Charming Charlie
Earrings: Charming Charlie
Sweater: Kohls
Collard Shirt: DEB Shops
Jeans: DEB Shops

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Thanksgiving Festivities.

I truly loved the holidays. There's nothing I don't like about them. There's something about gathering around the dinner table catching up and just talking about everything. I spent most of the night unplugged. Which made the time even more special. No one was on their phones, everyone was just very present and it was beautiful and crazy cool. Very holiday-like.

We spent this Thanksgiving at my Grams house. If there's one thing you need to know about her, it's that she sets absolutely beautiful tables. I'm always so excited to see what she has in store for us at the table.

She also has all of her Christmas decorations done. Six Christmas trees. Six. She's a crazy lady. But I love her house during the Christmas season, it's full of lights and love and feathers.

I also took out some time for a outfit post. (Which will be posted soon!)

 Grams had these small little signs that said "Give Thanks" on them that were stuffed in our napkins, which was super crafty and totally up my ally and made me love the whole thing even more.

We also learned a lot about my Grams' boyfriend. He grew up in the south and went to college at Michigan State and went on to become a super successful boxer. His stories are honestly the best thing.

 The whole gang. 

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Denim on Denim

The weather this week has been weird to say the least, first it was snowy and then rainy. Now its slush and I can see the grass once again. Which I don't mind at all since I hate snow. My life currently consists of blogging, working with my best friends - two year olds, and complaining about the weather. 

I seriously love doing these posts. I love putting myself out there and just doing. I've always been so scared of that and now that I'm doing all of this I love it and enjoy it so much. Thank you to everyone who has believed in me and supported me so much. I love you people and I love what I do. You guys are rad. 

Top: Walmart

Skirt: DEB Shops

Duster: DEB Shops

Shoes: Payless

Watch: Platos Closet

Headband & Bracelet: Delia's

Tights: Walmart

Earrings: Kohls 

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Why I'm Taking A Year Off

Life is funny. We change our mind. We believe we want one thing but truly want another. All throughout High School, I had planned on going to a university right away. I worked hard to try and achieve it, but my efforts still weren't enough to get me a scholarship that allowed me to be financially comfortable. So I didn't go.

So here I am, dropping my classes for this winter. I had planned on going, and totally excited about going. But then reality set in and my bill was sent to my house. $2,190 for three classes. Now granted, that's not a lot of money to go to school, but for my family it's a lot to drop. For goodness sakes, my parents are trying to buy a house. How on earth could I ask them for help? I wouldn't. I couldn't. I work part time at a daycare center and it would take me months to come up with that money.

I don't know what I want to do with my life. I have absolutely no clue. So why go to school when I don't know? Or maybe it's just an excuse to not go to school. I don't know. But it's just not something that I feel is necessary right now. I like enjoying my life without worrying about paying for my college or juggling both full time school and part time work. I like being able to go to late night movies without having to take my homework with me. I like being able to go shopping whenever I want without worrying about how I'm going to make my next school payment. I can't do that. Not right now. I don't want to.

So I'm taking a year off. To just enjoy life. Period.

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November 2, 2014

That was the day I got baptized. All I can say is that what a day it was. I woke up excited and ready to go. But as time went I became so scared and full of emotion that I had never felt before. I honestly couldn't tell you what I was feeling in those moments because I don't even know myself.

I had signed up on a whim. I've wanted to be baptized for a while but I hadn't wanted to do a video, nor did I want to do it in front of a couple hundred people. But I was feeling led to do it, so I did. As the weeks went on I was fine. I was so excited to be baptized and ready for it. Then my mother happened. Oh, she means well, but boy did she freak me out a lot. What if they can't lift you back up out of the water? What if you don't fit in the tub? You'll be in front of so many people! The more comments that were made the less I wanted to do it. But I never backed out.

So the day came and I was so nervous. I knew how many people would be there. I knew this day would be about me and I didn't want that. Having this kind of attention freaked me out and I didn't like it one bit. I got to my church my duffel bag full of my change of clothes in one hand and my towel in the other. If anyone knows me well enough, they know that I cry at the stupidest things. Every time I saw someone who meant a lot to me - I cried. Maybe it was that I realized what was happening and that they all had played some kind of role in bringing me to the place I am today. I was just so full of emotion that I couldn't hold it in. At all. 

I watched each of the other people go, which helped my nerves, but not my crying. At this time my youth paster came to me. And in all honesty I lost it. Whatever I thought I had been holding back was gone, never have I cried so much by just looking at a person. This man was the reason I was there in that moment. He was the reason my life changed, he was the reason I am where I am today. And having him there next to me that morning meant the world. The first words I said during a video I had to record was, I want Jeff there otherwise I won't do it. And there he was.

 Once it was my turn there were still tears. Why on Earth was I crying? In John 11:35 it says, Jesus wept. For myself, I can't honestly say why I was crying. As I've thought back on that day, I truly believe it was the Holy Spirit in me. Those were His tears for me. I was saying goodbye to my old life, and saying hello to this new one. Those tears were shed for myself and for Jesus.

I have a new understanding for a lot of things. I'm still learning. I'm learning how to love better. I'm learning how to be more patient. I'm learning how to be more like Him. And I know it's going to take time. I know I'm going to stumble and fall. I know I'm going to disappoint Him and myself. But I'm going to keep treading on. Because that's what we do. Life is messy and complicated and hard. But it's also beautiful and incredible and completely worth it.

I have decided. I called out his name. I’m following Jesus now and He knows the way. I made up my mind. I leave it behind - no turning back. 

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Turning Over A New Leaf

Well, the fall season is pretty much over. It makes me sad, but excited at the same time. Fall is my absolute favorite, but Christmas is getting closer and closer. I love the holidays and everything about them. I love sipping hot chocolate around the Christmas tree while talking about the day our family has had. It's the best.

September was quite a month - from quitting my job to finding another one that I love so much more to turning 18 to not having time to take pictures anymore. It was such an awesome month and turning 18 was a big step. It was scary and exciting. I had my interview for SpringHill and I was anxiously waiting to hear back. I was sick of retail and quit. I turned 18 and was finally able to work at a childcare center.

This month has been full of ups and downs - from my car being vandalized to being established at my new job to getting a flat tire to finally being dedicated to this blog. It's been a crazy beautiful month. God has been by my side throughout all of it - He even put on my heart that I needed to be baptized (Which happens to be TOMORROW PEOPLE! GAH!). I'm excited about this relationship that I'm growing with Him. It's exciting. I'm diving right in.

10 things I'm excited about for November:

1. Listening to Christmas music more + feeling like I'm not betraying Halloween doing so.
2. Thanksgiving. Duh.
3. Finally being able to go Black Friday shopping + not working.
4. Being baptized!
5. Turkey. Turkey. Turkey.
6. The first major snowfall (Except driving in it! ICK!)
7. Putting up the Christmas tree.
8. More New Girl episodes!
9. Finally being able to layer my clothes! YES!
10. Spending more time with my friends + family.

This months inspiration:

Song:

Quote:

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