Remember the post I had a couple weeks ago about being nice to retail employees? Well, I told a couple fibs. At that point, I really hated my job. When I first started, I really, really enjoyed it, but that night I was completely full of hatred for my job and what I was doing.

So I quit.

I didn't quit quit. But I put in my two weeks. Why? Because I had grown unhappy. I'd grown tired of the work, of the terribly rude people, of the constant sharp pain in my heels or the numbness in them that occurred frequently. Retail is brutal. I don't care what anyone tells you. Maybe that don't work at a place where there's a constant rush of young girls wanting to play dress up or mothers that just can't keep their kids under control.

I've been working retail for a little over a year. It's been tough. I've come home crying many times from people being absolutely horrible to me. Why? I don't know, maybe it was because we didn't have a certain dress in a certain size and she would have to drive to another store to get it on time. Maybe it was because I didn't say the right thing at the right time. I was so sick of the constant breakdowns before every shift. Mentally, I'm done. Physically, I've been done for a long time, my brain finally caught up. I become ill every single time I work.

This is just the beginning of my eighteenth year of life. I want it to be full of life, love and laughter. I don't want to dread the days, I want to enjoy every single one of them. And I've been doing that a lot lately: dreading. The moment I turned in that letter of resignation, I became a happier person. Retail has made me a mad, mean, angry person. And that's not someone I want to be. That's someone I never have been.

I love my new job at a daycare center. And I'm so excited for this new journey.

Belated Birthday Post

This was my first birthday not in school. It was also my eighteenth. And it was the weirdest.

It felt weird to be at home and not hearing "Happy Birthday" all day long. It was weird not getting any balloons or any kind of surprises. It was dull and something I may not remember.

But, I had six days off. Six days off that I spent with my family and friends and that was more than enough. I spent a whole afternoon with my dad to pick out a new phone as an early birthday present. I spent an entire evening making my best friend her birthday present. I slept in, I stayed up late. I thought about everything. I did laundry. I baked. I cleaned. I watched movies. I did everything that I haven't been able to do since I've been out of school. And it was so freeing. I had no worries and I could do whatever I want, whenever I wanted. I also started my new job. And I fell in love with it. I get to wear tennis shoes, and yoga pants, and work with wonderful kids.

We were also able to visit Holland on my birthday to go to my favorite place in the whole world, Fricanos. It's crazy good and one of the coolest places around. Plus the city is one of my absolute favorites so being there was fabulous. I also tried OrangeLeaf for the first time and it was incredible. 

So, yes, it was a really great birthday. I was able to spend it with people I absolutely love and adore. It was a rough start, but it ended up turning out a ok. 18 is feeling pretty darn cool.

Scarf: Five Below
Cardigan: Meijer
Jeans: DEB Shops
Shoes: DEB Shops

Mannequin Night

Real live mannequins. That was the theme of my Friday night. Every year a city near me puts on a cool event. People from all over come together and pose as mannequin's in store windows. It's such a cool event, to watch these people staying as still as can be.

But let me tell you, taking pictures of them with the glare from the sun shooting at the store windows was a killer for my camera. So as always, only a few turned out the way I wanted them to. But it's definitely a cool event and something I absolutely love attending.

This year it was definitely a lot busier than years past. The amount of people that showed up was insane. Which also put a damper in my photos. But, what can you do? I just enjoyed being with my family and being in one of my favorite cities.

7 Reasons To Be Nice to Retail Employees

(Photo: weheartit.com)

I'm writing this completely exhausted, mentally muddled, and just plain tired. Let me begin by saying it's Homecoming season, which means an endless amount of teenage girls running into my store trying to find 'THE perfect dress'. Now, this is not the average amount of 20 or so girls a week that just try on dresses for dressup. No. It's twenty or thirty times worse. This is incredibly long lines to the dressing room. This is scattered clothing, a constant flow of dresses being pushed in my face, dirty looks, and many rude people.

Now, let me say that I really truly love my job. I love helping girls find their sense of style and give my input on such things. What I love even more is that we carry plus sizes. Being a plus sized girl I know how that feels to literally find nothing that looks even remotely fashionable. Most clothes that come in plus look and fit like tents - if I'm being honest here. But when Homecoming and Prom season comes around I want nothing to do with my job - in fact I'd rather be anywhere else.

So based on the weekend I had, I've come up with 7 reasons to be nice to retail employees, sass included. Some completely true, others just because.

1. We want to help you.

I know it may not seem like it when we're flustered with 20 dresses in our hands, but it's really true. We want to help you find whatever it is your looking for and more, but sometimes we just don't have time. Sometimes there's not enough people on the floor for me to drop everything and help you find something. Sometimes it's just me trying to handle a huge group of girls trying to fit into 6 dressing rooms. Have patience or ask someone who looks less busy. I promise they will help. 

2. We're not perfect and forget things.

Remember that time I completely forgot to find that red, sparkly dress in a Medium? Yeah that happened twice yesterday and three times today. It's going to take me a long time to find that dress for you. You may even have to remind me a couple times. But if you see that I have a line stretching until the register and you're in a rush, your best bet is to ask your friend. I'm sure she'll grab it for you, if not then you need to find new friends. 

3. We have to listen to that favorite song of yours over and over and over...

Believe me One Direction and Selena Gomez get sickening after a while. When you work in retail you don't even want to hear your favorite song outside of work if it's on that playlist. Not even a snippet preview of it.

4. We have to put away every single thing you try on.

Yeah, those 8 dresses you have in your hand? We have to put every single one of those away. Oh, the ones you also put in the wrong spot just because? We have to take even more time going through the racks to put those away too. Believe me it's 10 times easier if you just let me put away all of them. 

5. We work long shifts with what seems like not long enough breaks.

Ever worked an 11 hour shift completely on your feet before? I have. Not fun. Even an 8 hour shift seems treacherous on a weekend. A half an hour never seems long enough. 

6. The longer you stay, the longer we do too.

When the music goes off and the gate slowly starts to close, that's your cue to leave. We still have a million other things to do after we close and 95% of them we can't do unless you leave. So staying until 9:45 when we closed at 9:00 makes it so much harder for us to get out at our scheduled 9:30, actually it's now impossible. 

7. We just want someone to talk to.

The dressing rooms are a scary place away from everyone else in the store. So making a small conversation with someone in line makes my day go by faster, and it makes me so much happier to just have someone to talk to. I don't care if you're talking to me about how you thought you were a size 5 but now you've put on weight and are a size 9. 

I really truly love my job, actually about 99% of us do. Being nice to retail employees makes a world of difference during stressful days. About ten times in the span of six hours I felt like crying because of the amount of people swarming around me or giving me rude comments. I've been in retail for a year now, and it's taught me so much and I really do love it a lot. I want to meet as many people as I can, I want to hear about their life and stories. In some ways I'm able to do that. I can brighten up someone's day with a simple hello or lend a helping hand when getting a dress down. It's a rewarding job and so great. But days like today wear on you, making the good days, really great ones. 

Late Night Thoughts: Why Life After High School Isn't All Sunflowers & Daisies

(Photo: weheartit.com)

I've been out of High School for almost four months now.

They tell you that you're going to have so much freedom to do whatever you want. You can do and be whatever. But what they don't tell you is the confusion you feel, the loss of friends that occur, the feeling of inadequacy to do anything, the frequent mental breakdowns, and the constant reminder that you're almost a full-on adult.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of pros too. Sleeping in until noon, not having homework, not dealing with the pressures High School brings - all of that is great, but I just feel different. In a sense, I feel a bit lazy. Here I am, day in day out not doing much of anything. Well, except work. That's all I do anymore. Not quite, but it sure feels that way. All I can say is I'm definitely not cut out for 40 hour weeks, mentally and physically. 30 hour ones bring enough pain and mental breakdowns.

Not being in High School is one heck of a change, and taking a semester off of school is an even bigger one. I'm working like crazy, I'm volunteering, I'm trying to juggle so many things at once. There was a day that I didn't see my little sister for an entire day, and another where I didn't see my mom for almost two. Never before has that happened.

Last Sunday night after church, my drive home brought on a flood of emotions that I didn't expect. I was just tired. Tired of working. Tired of driving all the time. Tired of not seeing my family. I came home and my parents were sitting around a fire, so I joined them for the first time in months. And I just started sobbing. It was a heavy, shoulders-move-up-and-down kind of sob. Something I hadn't done in a long time. I just poured out all my problems to them, everything that I had been feeling over the past couple weeks. The pain that was constantly in my heel from working so much (I'm as flat footed as they come), the mental exhaustion, the feeling of having absolutely no one in my life anymore. They told me to cut down my hours, take a week of to refresh and regroup. To find myself again. And I'm crazy excited to have those six days off.

Now, I don't want to sound crazy negative because that's just not me - or at least I try not to be very often. It's pretty cool that I'm not in school anymore and I accomplished something major. There's just so much more to graduating than that.

There's this Bible verse that I used quite often throughout my graduation party, it's Proverbs 16:3, “Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Right now, I feel like there's just so many "What If" scenarios playing out in my head. My biggest one being What if it's hard to find a job for the career I want? Then what? I just spent thousands of dollars to do something I can't even do.

So I'm learning to trust. To trust that everything is going to be okay, that even if I don't feel like I'm doing much of anything right now, it's going to add up to something.

Psalm 20:4  “May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.”

Kids Need Youth Group

I love youth groups. And I firmly believe that leaders, pastors and everyone having anything to do with youth groups have a huge impact on kids and the way they live. So I continue to go. Even though I'm not in High School anymore I went to my church's high school youth group. There's always more to learn and enjoy there. So I stick around and take pictures for the heck of it. But let me tell you, the lighting in the youth building is horrible for my poor camera. Yes, I have a good camera, but it's just too dark for it. So no surprise that the best pictures were the ones I took outside. But hey, what can ya do?

I really, truly believe that kids need youth group. It's a place for them to feel safe, and free of any kind of judgement. I have met some of the greatest people at my youth group, heck I'm still going. It was a place for me to get away from the messiness of my own life and to just be with amazing people who all were there for the same reason: to glorify God. I've had amazing youth leaders who have shaped me into being the best person I can be. They've loved on me, supported me with everything, and have given me a shoulder to cry on when I needed it. God definitely brings you to places and to people exactly when you need to be led. And I'm incredibly thankful for that. I was in a bad place before starting youth group. I didn't know one Bible verse. I only wanted to go to church on certain holidays. I didn't truly know who God was. I had no purpose. And now, I know at least a couple Bible verses(I'm getting there!), attend church on a weekly basis, I know God and I'm chasing after His heart. I have a purpose. Sure, I don't know what it is yet, but I'm enjoying the time I have to figure that out.

Going to youth group changed my life. I've talked to so many people whose life changed the same way. Kids need youth group. Period.