To the Creator of the Universe,

Such a big title everyone gives you, huh? I've always wondered if you like that title. Creator of the Universe. Seems like a big load to carry. Knowing that you created every single star in the sky and know every person in the world by name. I know I couldn't do it. I mean, I'm only human. But you're God. You're the air we breathe. You're the sound of my heart beating in my chest. You're the reason for everything good and perfect and pure in this world. You're the Creator of everything. Even little ol' me. So I think the title suits You well. 

You love me, for me. You don't care about what size jeans I wear, or what I ate for breakfast yesterday, or whether I'm going to college or not. You care about me. You care about my heart and my soul. You care about my wants and needs. You hear my prayers. You created me before I was even born. You knew me before there was time. That's always been the biggest challenge for me the more and more I learn about who You are - being able to wrap my head around such a big concept. That you know everything about me, and that there was time before the Universe. I can't fathom that thought. I suppose it's far ahead of what my mind can comprehend. But I still love knowing it. 

Yet sometimes I forget about You. Life gets busy and I get lazy. I forget to thank You that I'm alive and healthy. I forget to thank You that my car is parked safely in the mall parking lot and not somewhere in a ditch. I forget to thank You that I'm not spending my days in a hospital bed. Sometimes I forget to thank You that I'm unbelievably blessed. And for that I'm ashamed. I know, that's not something You want us to feel - it's something the devil puts in our heads. So maybe, I feel more like a hypocrite. I call you my Creator, yet I forget to thank you for simple things? How does that make me the strong Christian that I say I am? Why do I find myself judging someone who I'm not fond of? Why don't I pray more for the people around me instead of only saying that I will? 

And that's something I know I have to work on, something that you've called me to work on. I'm on this Earth to build up others, to love on others, to show them who You are and what you've done for every single person on the planet. 

I'm getting there. Each and every day I hear You more, I listen more, I study more. I'm realizing your presence more and more. 

And for that I thank you.

November 2, 2014

That was the day I got baptized. All I can say is that what a day it was. I woke up excited and ready to go. But as time went I became so scared and full of emotion that I had never felt before. I honestly couldn't tell you what I was feeling in those moments because I don't even know myself.

I had signed up on a whim. I've wanted to be baptized for a while but I hadn't wanted to do a video, nor did I want to do it in front of a couple hundred people. But I was feeling led to do it, so I did. As the weeks went on I was fine. I was so excited to be baptized and ready for it. Then my mother happened. Oh, she means well, but boy did she freak me out a lot. What if they can't lift you back up out of the water? What if you don't fit in the tub? You'll be in front of so many people! The more comments that were made the less I wanted to do it. But I never backed out.

So the day came and I was so nervous. I knew how many people would be there. I knew this day would be about me and I didn't want that. Having this kind of attention freaked me out and I didn't like it one bit. I got to my church my duffel bag full of my change of clothes in one hand and my towel in the other. If anyone knows me well enough, they know that I cry at the stupidest things. Every time I saw someone who meant a lot to me - I cried. Maybe it was that I realized what was happening and that they all had played some kind of role in bringing me to the place I am today. I was just so full of emotion that I couldn't hold it in. At all. 

I watched each of the other people go, which helped my nerves, but not my crying. At this time my youth paster came to me. And in all honesty I lost it. Whatever I thought I had been holding back was gone, never have I cried so much by just looking at a person. This man was the reason I was there in that moment. He was the reason my life changed, he was the reason I am where I am today. And having him there next to me that morning meant the world. The first words I said during a video I had to record was, I want Jeff there otherwise I won't do it. And there he was.

 Once it was my turn there were still tears. Why on Earth was I crying? In John 11:35 it says, Jesus wept. For myself, I can't honestly say why I was crying. As I've thought back on that day, I truly believe it was the Holy Spirit in me. Those were His tears for me. I was saying goodbye to my old life, and saying hello to this new one. Those tears were shed for myself and for Jesus.

I have a new understanding for a lot of things. I'm still learning. I'm learning how to love better. I'm learning how to be more patient. I'm learning how to be more like Him. And I know it's going to take time. I know I'm going to stumble and fall. I know I'm going to disappoint Him and myself. But I'm going to keep treading on. Because that's what we do. Life is messy and complicated and hard. But it's also beautiful and incredible and completely worth it.

I have decided. I called out his name. I’m following Jesus now and He knows the way. I made up my mind. I leave it behind - no turning back. 

Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | Pinterest | Bloglovin

God Is A Good God

God is crazy. He is wonderful and beautiful and all consuming. He also provides for us when we need it most. I had a bit of a..setback two weeks ago. I know what you're thinking Why have you waited so long to blog about it? Well, I couldn't tell you. I guess I've just pushed it into the back of my mind, but I finally decided to blog about it. Yippee. I guess.

Another woman and myself were at church when our cars were vandalized. The passenger side of my windshield was shattered, a hole left behind. At first I was stunned, how did this happen? Did I not see it earlier today? No, it was too big. It had to have happened during church. Could the footballs that the boys were throwing have created this big of a shatter? No.

Thankfully, I had one of my closest friends with me when I had found it so my freaking out and crying and screaming wasn't too much of a shock to her. She calmed me down and told me we'd head over to the coffee shop where we were meeting our small group girls and come back later to see what had happened - talking with our girls was where we needed to be.

So we went over there, Char sitting in my passengers seat (I later found out that glass had shattered into the inside of my car! She totally could've gotten a butt full of glass shards! Yikes!) and me still freaking out about what my insurance was and that I had a long shift at work the next morning and that I had to have it fixed ASAP. I was definitely thankful for my White Lightening Frappachino that night.

It wasn't until I came back to the church I found out what had happened. It had happened to another woman and they were outside picking up the pieces of the broken glass on the ground. My car was parked right next to hers earlier in the night.

It was definitely a shock. A flood of emotions hit me - I was scared, angry, distraught, and confused. Why on earth would somebody do this? Especially being at a church. But in all actuality, it doesn't matter where or when something bad can happen at any moment. Isn't that a risk we take every day when we leave the house? I don't know about you but I won't live that way. I'm not going to be scared to do something I love just because I'm scared of what could happen. This totally and completely could have happened at the grocery store, but it just so happened to occur at my church.

I don't blame anyone. I don't feel the need to be angry at them or be bitter. I'm more saddened. To create a shatter that big in a windshield (for goodness sake's!) they must have a lot of anger. I hope and pray that whatever had happened to them that night that they get it resolved. Carrying that burden can't be fun.

So I don't really know why I'm sharing this story. I suppose my main point is that within the next two days my car was fixed and the windshield was better than ever - without me having to spend a dime. And that, my friends, is the grace and power of God. There's no way that would have happened without Him. And I realize now that He was teaching me something I hadn't known before: Grace. I hadn't known who had done it and although I still would like to know, I'm not mad at them. I'm at peace with it all - with their actions, with my actions and the marvelous people that I had standing beside me that night.


A huge thank you to the guys at Action Glass for being so incredible to me and taking such amazing care of my car and the new windshield I got! Seriously if you need any kind of glass repair on your car call them! Very fast, reliable and got me in ASAP. I'll definitely be going back for any repairs I'll need in the future!

Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | Pinterest | Bloglovin

3 Reasons Why I Wear A Purity Ring

I know this has been a touchy subject over the years, many people don't believe in it, while others are all for it. I, for one, am all for it. I love mine. It reminds me of the promise I've made to God, myself and my future husband. 

My parents never told me I needed to have one. I didn't receive mine on my xth birthday, or Christmas. I pursued the search to see what they were all about and what it meant. I loved the meaning behind wearing the ring and the promise it held. I had wanted one for quite a long time, so I finally bought my first one my Senior Year of High School. I love wearing it. I remember one night at my youth group we had a combined small group with freshman girls. As we were talking with them about some of the things they were going through, the five of us who were there all had purity rings showing our promise to God. So I've come up with a couple reasons why I've decided to wear my ring. 

1. It's a constant reminder. Although I'm not currently in a relationship (hint, hint ;) It does remind me of the beautiful future I have with the person I'm waiting for. It also is a reminder that I need to remain pure with my words, my thoughts, and my actions. 

2. It helps me share my testimony. I remember one of the first couple weeks that I had had the ring a girl asked me what it said. Her eyes had widened and asked what that meant. Which then gave me the opportunity to share with her my testimony and why I was choosing to wear my ring. 

3. It reminds me that my heart belongs to God. The person who holds my heart is also the person who will place the right man in my life that I will marry. Simple as that. I'm waiting patiently on God for that right person who will chase after my heart as well as His.