Late Night Thoughts & Summer Plans

We change our minds. As humans that's what we do, we change. We grow older, we want different things. It's hard to accept that what we had wanted so bad before we may not want anymore. We feel like we owe it to ourselves to just do what we had wanted to do so bad. But that's not the case. And it's the most awful feeling ever. This is something I have been struggling with for weeks. Do I accept this new summer job that I've been praying to have the opportunity to do for months and months, or do I open up my summer to the possibilities that God may have in store? It's taken so much prayer and thought and I still can't seem to make up my mind, but then at the same time I feel as if I've made my decision. I'm making plans for summer that I couldn't if I decided to take this job.

God calls us to live a radical life. A life that shows His love to others. So here I am, possibly passing up the opportunity to do just that. Am I a bad Christian because I'm not taking this opportunity? Or am I listening to what He's telling me? What if it's just my thoughts that are telling me these things?

A couple months ago, something my youth pastor said really stuck with me, if you're not at peace with a decision then it's God telling you that you haven't made the right choice. Ever since then, I've taken that into my own life, every time I had to make a choice that didn't feel right, I would go towards the one that felt better. And I still do that, I truly believe what he said.

So this is what I'm doing, I'm going to follow what I believe God is telling me through prayer and the kind words I'm receiving from people around me.